2 Years Home For the Triplets

May 2, 2010

After days of dealing with a volcano holding us back from coming home, the triplets arrived home in the arms of Madelaine and myself.  Three little ones God blessed with Down syndrome were about to embark on a new life as Burmans.  All 3 children were raised in the same orphanage and even in the same groupa but each would come home affected differently by the treatment they received during their almost 6 years.  

Evelyn was the smallest one in height and weight weighing in at a mere 19 pounds. She is now 40 lbs and by far the tallest and most active of the three. She has been diagnosed not only with Ds but she also has severe autism and attachment disorder.  Right now she is still nonverbal but is slowly picking up sign language.  Her autism has been a difficult diagnosis to deal with as it is such a barrier to so much for her.  Our biggest battle with Evelyn is the fact that she literally eats any and everything in her path.  We are trying to find out how to deal with this because it can be very dangerous what she eats.

Hudson was the middle child weighing in at 20 lbs and literally the middle in birth dates. He now weighs 34 pounds and is without a doubt the smartest little guy.  His diagnosis of Ds and deaf does not slow his  little mind down in the least. Hudson can sign so many words and even a few sentences. His ability to do puzzle and create things is amazing! What we struggle with his motivation for Hudson. If you let him, he would sit in one spot all day and never move. Walking is not his idea of fun and forget climbing or anything else of that nature. It is not that he can't, it's that he WON'T!  Soon he will realize that if he wants something he will have to move to get it.

Owen, our oldest of the triplets, is very much his own person. When he was at the orphanage they did not like him at all and even told us that. He received much abuse and that has dramatically affected him!  It is only now that we are beginning to see a little boy emerge from the broken, angry, and frustrated little person we brought home 2 years ago.  He struggles severely with sensory issues but we have an idea on his triggers and are able to manage them most times. Owen has had traumatic issues with eating and has a gbutton now in order for him to get the nutrition he needs. We backed off trying to get him to eat foods and ever since then have allowed him to tell us when and if he wants to eat something. Now Owen comes up to us quite often and will want tastes of anything without texture such as yogurt or applesauce. No matter what time it is we give him some tastes to show him eating is pleasureable. Even when he had speech therapy they were trying to make him eat and he just didn't want to.  We stopped speech because they wanted things that we just felt were not what Owen needed and ever since then he has done remarkable!

Having the triplets home for 2 years has brought a lot of memories to our family and home.  It has also been a major learning experience in parenting as we have no idea all the things our children endured. Yes, we have ideas but that still does not help us to erase all that was done.  When I first brought the triplets home I had ideas as to how we were going to parent them.  I set up therapies, went to all doctor appointments and even had their rooms set up based on the info we were given about the children.  It is now that I am tossing all those "ideas and plans" out of the window and embark on a new and uncharted journey. Sometimes a parent must step back and evaluate their parenting style and how it is or is not working for each child. That has been the case for me with the triplets. Right now Brian and I have decided that we need to sort of go back to square 2 and really work with each one where they are at.  Now for each of them it is a vastly different place. Hudson can do all sorts of academic things whereas Owen and Evelyn really are not ready for those things.  With that in the forefront of my parenting ideas I hope to be able to chart a new course for the triplets and what their future holds is tailored made for them by God and I am choosing to accept that rather than trying hard to prove to the world that my children can and will be productive members of society in such and such a way. We will get there I know but it may look different for each one!

A swing still can put a smile on Evelyn's face.

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Often this is Evelyn's look but what it is is that she is being swung so high and that actually allows her brain to organize and concentrate.

Her face sure has grown from a baby face to that of a little girl!

This is what your face will look like after you too eat dirt.

Her blue eyes are so beautiful. Evelyn still is nonverbal but her eyes can say more than words can.

The Professor is contemplating the theory of actually moving can equal fun.

Hudson smiles with his whole face. He is such a sweet boy!

Hudson's smile can melt your heart. It usually does of all the ladies in church!

Owen's signature trait is his tongue sticking out of his mouth but to us that shows he is happy.

Owen is our serious guy. He went through a lot in the  orphanage and that has sadly affected him deeply. Only time and our love can help erase those effects.

Carrington Updates

Just 13 months ago Carrington was finally deemed healthy enough to leave Cook Children's Hospital and come home to her family.  She did not miss her homecoming back on March 17, 20111 but just waited until April 20, 2011 to make her grand entrance into our home. When Brian and I walked her through our front door we told her that these 4 walls would always be her sanctuary; a place of total and unfailing love.  A place where she is valued for who she is. A place where she can grow, learn, and discover.  

Yes 13 months later she has rightfully taken her place in our hearts and home as Princess.  It seems everyone is standing ready just to love on her and of course give her tons and tons of snuggles.  She rules from her mighty throne: the swing.  Here she also commands her subjects with her royal wand: a small water bottle filled with beads. And royal commands are given with an ever boisterous voice.  Now some may think her voice and sounds indicate she is upset but to our family those sounds are the sweetest music ever!  One day, in God's perfect timing, she will talk with us but for now she is just discovering all the sounds she can make.

Carrington has crept into my heart in a way that only God could have planned. The intense love and protection I have for her is beyond my comprehension.  When I am gone from her I am always itching to get home and be on the receiving end of one of her raspberry kisses or just to scoop her up and swing her around to hear her infectious giggle. A giggle that was once hidden so deep inside of her I was afraid it would never emerge.  Having many beautiful children has shown me all the different ways a mother can love.  Not one of my children is like the other and my love for each one of them is just as colorful and unique as their little personalities.  God blessed me with the type of love He Himself has for each of us.  Heaven is His creation of a place, a sanctuary from the world where we are loved for who He created.  I cannot even begin to imagine what glory He has planned for each one of is children.  Some have asked if I love my adopted children differently than my biological children.  The answer is YES and NO. Yes I love them, all 10 of them, differently because they are all different. No I do not love them any more or any less than my biological children. Isn't it interesting that just 6 years ago when I was pregnant with Ethan I shared with a very important person, who is just like a mom to me, how worried I was that I would love Ethan the same as I did Madelaine. She told me of course I would love him different because he was different but that my heart would have just enough love for him as it did for Madelaine.  She was so right!

Our Princess is now weighing in at a healthy 27 pounds and is wearing clothes in size 2T-3T.  She will snuggle into my chest and put her arms around me.  This is one of my favorite things in the world because when we brought her home and she was in the hospital she did not, or rather could not, tolerate being touched or held. Her physical abilities continue to grow and we are hoping she will soon want to crawl after her siblings.  Brian and I have decided that while we will encourage her to grow and do things we are also just going to allow her to experience the world in ways she missed as an infant and young toddler.  Carrington still eats by her gbutton but she is now taking tastes of food from mommy's finger. Her favorite is sweet potato with butter and brown sugar. When we dress her she now puts her arms into the arms of the shirt all by herself.  Baths are no longer scary but rather a time in which she sings even more.  Her sleep is pretty predictable at night but she still does not want to nap during the day. Again, we let her have that because she does not seem to need a nap. At night she sleeps about 11-12 hours (I wish the triplets would take a lesson from her on that).  Anytime there is a breeze or wind she is at her happiest!  We watch her discover new toys and actually begin to play with them.

I do not know where Carrington's life is going, that is God's area, but I am so blessed that a couple of years ago Brian and I answered His call to go.  Now if the world will only stop and listen to God's call to help the orphans than all will be well with the world!

Look at the delight on her face as she swings and the wind pours over her face.

Just snuggling with her daddy for bedtime.

I snapped the picture and the flash woke her up. She the look on her face. Just so you all know, no dads woke up during this photo shoot.

When Carrington first came home she was swallowed up by a bouncy seat that is how small she was. Now when we put her in one not only was she way longer but the seat was dragging the ground.

Madelaine is such a great big sis to push Carrington as long as she wants. And that can be a LONG time!

Big Brother Ethan is giving Carrington a horse back ride.  I love Ethan's smile!

Back on the Ranch

This was the second year one of our families with our Ds partnership opened their ranch to families of children with Ds.  Last year our family had the best time and were so looking forward to spending time just having fun and that is exactly what we did!  Ethan thought he was a genuine cowboy since he was given a cowboy hat by our friend Barbi and a bandanna by one of the volunteers.  Then Reagan was put on one of the ponies and at first she kept saying "woa horsie" but Daddy told her to say "yeehaw". Well that was all it took and you could hear Reagan shouting "yeehaw" all during her ride. She even convinced the man who was leading the pony that she needed to go for another ride!  One of the coolest things Barbi and Gary had out there was one of those circle things that horses walk around and are attached to. I think it if for teaching them to be used to walking with a harness. Oh I don't know but anyways, they hooked up swings to it and this guy would just push a button and this thing would swing the kids. Now is that an ingenious idea or what?!  I need to install one of those in my back yard then the kids could swing to their hearts content while I sit on my porch swing and drink diet Cokes:)  Hmmmm, maybe for Christmas!!! It was nice to just relax and visit with friends and to see some families we had not seen in awhile. There were quite a few babies for me to take into my arms and love on.  I remember last year when we went Carrington had just been released from the hospital and she was quite tiny.  This year she was really into what all was going around and even tasting some of Sarah's watermelon. We can't wait until next year when the boys will be able to attend!

Look how big the Princess is this year!

We asked Reagan if she had fun and this was her response.

Ethan (note the bandanna and Texas Rangers hat) and Reagan all ready for the hay ride.

Our very own little cowboy.

Evelyn really liked the animals in the petting zoo.

Ethan on the cool swing thing.

Evelyn is all about swinging so this was great for her.

Really Hudson did have a great time once it got started.

Give Carrington a bit of wind and her day is happy.

Sarah took Carrington on her first pony ride.

Reagan was so excited to ride the pony with Daddy.

Ethan looks like Rambo meets the Wild West.

Madelaine and her friend Wendy were such great helpers with the kids.

Carrington had to lick Sarah's watermelon.

Here we are on this year's hay ride.

Burmans and friends at the B&B Ranch Round-Up

I can only imagine what is going through Hudson's mind.

Ethan could not get over how big the tires for this tractor were.

Something About...

• Being the most blessed mom to have such a priceless treasure to grace each day I have.
• Watching expressions come from a once still and distant child
• Looking into deep brown eyes that are taking in all around her
• Marveling at the creation God has filled my arms with
• Wondering what my Princess is thinking
• BEING CARRINGTON'S MOMMY!!!!!!

THAT FILLS MY HEART AND SOUL WITH PURE JOY!!!!!!

I have seen this look before and usually it's right before she makes her wants known.

Look at those pretty eyelashes and round cheeks!

Wow it has been a bit of time since I last posted.  Things have been absolutely hopping here at our house and in our lives.  So, I thought I would bullet point and illustrate life around here.

• I celebrated my 41st birthday.  I absolutely love my birthdays!!!  In fact not one other member of my family has a birthday in April so it is all mine,hahahahaha!!!!!
• We received our Article 5 with Bulgaria which means now we are submitted to the MOJ and soon courts.  
• Ethan finished his 3rd tball season. This was his first year he actually played coach pitch.  Ethan played on his favorite and original tball team with most of his original teammates.  What a great coach we had and fun time watching as Ethan grew in his skills. He has earned the nickname of Ethan "Cheeks" Burman as he has the biggest cheeks especially when he puts on the batting helmet.
• Madelaine finished her drama course with the community theatre. She has been doing drama for 6 years now and loves it!
• The triplets are growing like weeds.  Hudson thinks he is a funny guy and will stand in front of the mirror and make his own self laugh.  Evelyn is now signing to us for a few things she wants. Her latest sign is .....drum roll please......MOMMY.  This is a step in the direction of at least knowing who I am.  Owen has begun to accept small amounts of totally pureed food.
• Reagan Faith has lost her 2 front teeth.  The dentist told me to pull it out when it got real loose and when I did she looked at me and said "why did you do that Mom?".  She loves to show everyone her missing teeth.  She has started to wear big girl panties but must wear diaper pads in them. Due to her spina bifida she will never be potty trained in a typical way but she so desperately wanted to wear "big girl panties" like her sister and mommy so this is the way we can do that. I got the idea from another mom who does the same thing for her daughter with special needs.
• Carrington has just grown grown grown!! She now weighs over 25 lbs and is in size 2T clothes. Today marks one year she came home from her 5 week stay at Cook Children's Hospital.  Here is a great big thank you to everyone at Cooks for taking such great care of our Princess. Carrington is making some new noises and even new faces.  She just continues to amaze us with everything she does!  Daddy is completely wrapped around her finger as is mommy and big sister and anyone else who is around her.
• I have been blessed to be working with some amazing people to help bring donations of formula to the children in the boys' orphanage.  The children, as you all have followed, are in such desperate need of nutrition amongst other things.  Efforts are being coordinated for traveling families to take over as much formula in their suitcases as possible.  The overwhelming response to this need has been nothing short of the work of God!  Recently we found out that the interim director has decided that he will not allow any formula to be given to the children because it was not bought in Bulgaria.  This will not deter our efforts but rather we will continue to accept donations of this formula and when God shows us the timing is right we will bring it to the children.
• Major nesting has hit this mommy of nine to be!  We have rearranged rooms for all the little ones.  Madelaine has changed bedrooms so that the Kelten and Teagan will now be in the front bedroom. We pulled the carpet out and put in wood floors, put up 2 cribs we were so generously given, stripped and painted a dresser to change it into a changing table, and begun adding little personal touches to their room.  
• Last weekend we hosted a home project party with several friends to help get a lot of projects done in order to be ready for the boys' homecoming.

Little Julianna Moreno was so sweet each time she came over to play with Carrington. Our DFW Reece's Rainbow group had our get together at our house this time and we all enjoyed the beautiful weather by playing outside.

All this growing is so tiring for our Princess. She is sleeping in  her favorite place in the whole world! Take a look at those legs and arms!

I could stare at these yummy chunky cheeks all day long!

Ethan and his buddy Carter all ready to play ball. Go Riverdogs!

Ashlee is all geared up for a day of projects for our bring the boys home improvement project.

Steve is such an expert at this electric sanding thing when just a few minutes prior he had never even used one . This once was a 80s stained cabinet. Way to go Steve!

Paul is starting work on the new dining room table he is building for us. Our new table will  let all 11 members of our family eat together!

Scott lent his time helping us to put up a new front fence to our backyard.

Take a look at the transformation of that once stained 80s cabinet. You will get to see all of the finished projects on another post. Stay tuned.

Ethan loves Carrington so much that he decided she could see his dragon.

"Wow big brother!  I like your dragon!"

Ok so this is a totally random picture but the story behind it is funny. Ethan was at the GI doctor with me for Carrington when he asked me what this was. Being the home school mom I started in with the lesson about this is a colon and what all parts do what. When we got to the rectum part he laughed and said "do you mean my tushie looks like that?" I tried to explain more but then he wanted to know where a certain other body part was and well, thank heavens the doctor walked in at that point.

Our house is such disarray right now with all of the projects so Ethan decided he needed to make a cave to sleep in just like Batman.

Even superheros have to sleep sometime.

Reagan is such a mommy in training. She always wants to help me especially when it comes to the kids. She told me she was going to feed Owen.  No complaints from me and obviously Owen had none either.  Just look at the totally happy face on my Reagan!

She was so proud of herself for helping Mommy feed Owen.

Carrington and I stopped by the Parker's house to visit. Kennedi is one of my former students and an absolute joy for me to be around. She is the inspiration for me as to what my children with Ds can do.  Her little brother Miles is such a hoot he was trying to find games for Carrington to do on his iPad.

Movie Time